Content Warning: Minor references to gay sexual intercourse
I recently came to a realization while at a rendezvous with a gentleman caller. He was complimenting me by telling me how sexy he thought I was, and I was so unable to receive his compliment and believe that he felt that way about me. I responded by telling him that if he complimented specific parts of me that I would be able to believe him and receive them, but if he compliments me as a whole being, I am unable to accept that.
In that moment I thought about Now, Voyager and the concept of fragmentation that we discussed in class as it relates to film. I fragmented my body in the same way that film fragments the woman's body into parts that make up a whole. If my gentleman complimented my legs, eyebrows, lips, or eyes, I would have believed him. If he told me he loved my chest hair, I'd believe him, because I like those parts of my body. But when he told me that I as a whole was beautiful and sexy, I could not receive it. So ultimately it got me to thinking how film may have played a role in the way I've conceptualized my body. Media consistently fragments us into parts (and usually parts that need fixing and modification) but rarely does it ever show us or warrant us or want us to love ourselves as whole beings. How would capitalism thrive if we did?
So shout out to CTCS 412 for making its way into my head post-coitus. Sorry for the TMI, but hey! You just never know when film concepts will come up.
No comments:
Post a Comment